image by Wardrobe Oxygen
What Do Women Want?
by Kim Addonizio
I want a red dress.
I want it flimsy and cheap, I want it too tight,
I want to wear it until someone tears it off me.
I want it sleeveless and backless,
this dress,
so no one has to guess what’s underneath.
I want to walk down the street past Thrifty’s
and the hardware store with all those keys glittering in the window,
past Mr. and Mrs. Wong selling day-old donuts in their café,
past the Guerra brothers slinging pigs
from the truck and onto the dolly,
hoisting the slick snouts over their shoulders.
I want to walk like I’m the only woman on earth and I can have my pick.
I want that red dress bad.
I want it to confirm your worst fears about me,
to show you how little I care about you or anything except what I want.
When I find it,
I’ll pull that garment from its hanger
like I’m choosing a body to carry me into this world,
through the birth-cries and the love-cries too,
and I’ll wear it like bones,
like skin,
it’ll be the goddamned dress they bury me in.
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these hips are big hips
they need space to
move around in.
they don’t fit into little
petty places. these hips
are free hips.
they don’t like to be held back.
these hips have never been enslaved,
they go where they want to go
they do what they want to do.
these hips are mighty hips.
these hips are magic hips.
i have known them
to put a spell on a man and
spin him like a top!
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We’ve known for quite a while that there’s something magical about Karina dresses. We get handwritten notes that read “Thank you for existing.” We get emails from husbands, thanking us for how happy our dresses make their wives. We see customers buy 7 or 8 dresses at a time. Seriously. And we have fans who trust our dresses so much, they travel with them -and almost nothing else – in their suitcases to far flung exotic places. Like PTA meetings. And Provence. And Andra Pradesh, India.
But we weren’t sure how to communicate this total, complete, oh-my-God-I-want-another-one devotion. But like every English teacher says: “Don’t tell, show.”
With that sage advice, we created our very first ‘Dresstimonial™’ video, featuring some of our favorite ladies, sharing why, exactly, they love these dresses so much.
Are you equally obsessed with your Karina dress or want to be included in a future video? Create your own Dresstimonial and send it to us at karinadressesmktg@gmail.com and we might feature it right here on this blog! If we do, we’ll send you a FREE dress for sharing your thoughts with us and our growing customer community around the world.
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Name: Cynthia
Age: 30
Location: NYC
Online homes: blog // twitter
Favorite Karina dress: Loving the limited edition Holly dress.
What are your every day, must-reads, online or off?
Since getting the NYTimes on the Ipad, I start my morning with that. I use Google reader to check on the 100+ blogs I love. And because I’m always planning a trip in my head, I’m on Tripadvisor a lot.
Your blog is called Addicted 2 Etsy. Who are your top five Etsy sellers at the moment?
I feel so bad choosing favorites- I love so many shops. Also, this changes all the time, but since I have to choose:
jenniferloiselle: handmade accessories and jewelry
thepairabirds: artwork and prints
ramonawest: vintage
kimdulaney:handmade jewelry
lemoncitrus: bath and body
Just gave some variety, but you can check my favorites tab on my blog to see much more of what I’m loving and checking out.
Why is it important to buy from artisans and small, independent companies?
First off, they are the only ones doing truly unique work. They put a lot of time, love and care into what they do. You can also have a relationship with smaller companies or independent artisans that just can’t exist with the big companies. They also represent a very real and important part of our economy and we would be missing out on so much amazing stuff if we don’t support them. They are necessary for what they add to the table and because they are some of the most hardworking people and truly care about their customers and their craft.
If you could give your 16-year-old self advice, what would you say?
Love yourself. You’re smart, you’re beautiful, stop with the self-doubt. Be more confident, talk to more people. But most of all, I would tell my 16-year-old self to loosen up a little bit more and have some more fun. I was just a tad square – although I know my mum loved that I was always at home with my head buried in a book. I would have a little more healthy fun!
Your perfect day. What would it look like?
There’s 2 kinds:
Sunny but cool, me sitting somewhere outside, surrounded by loved ones, maybe a picnic at the park. However, when we get to 90 degree summer, my perfect day changes to:
Rainy day, dark outside, cozy inside, me under the covers watching 80′s movies.
Thanks so much for sharing, Cynthia!
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Want something out of your life? Follow this advice.
Organic lipstick that feels good! And works!
What should you wear to a spring wedding?
Let’s all travel vicariously to Japan through Michelle’s photos.
What sort of messages are we sending our daughters and other young women about what it means to be a “real girl”?
It is not girls who are skinny or symmetrically featured or who wear lots of makeup who are the problem, but a culture that says girls who are all those things are cuter, cooler and more worthy of our attention than girls who aren’t – not to mention a culture that says even if you are all those things (whether you got there through your own efforts or the genetic lottery), you could still look “better” if you had Photoshop to trim your waist, thicken your hair, enhance your breasts or straighten your nose.
About being honest on the internet.
Yum.my. Homemade pizza, 9 delicious ways.
We here at Karina Dresses love travel! How To Road Trip Solo.
From Jello to ballet. 7 ordinary things in extraordinary slow motion.
On making your failures epic.
Failing does not equal failure.
I remind my students of this before every quiz. Before each test, their pencils are put to the side and I ask them very gravely if this spelling test is going to decide their fate. Will they be held back if they do not get 100% on Spelling List #14? Will their hair fall out if they forget how to spell a word? If they forget a silent letter, should we begin preparing our zombie shelters? After we stop talking about the possibility of a zombie attack, the students are ready. We’ve taken the fear out of failing and there’s nothing left for them to worry about.
Failing means you tried.
Dots + tulle = gorgeous.
Some gorgeous photos to look at when you just need to caaaaaaalm doooooown.
Have a great weekend!
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Halley is a freelance writer who creates a voice for small businesses online with copywriting and cogent creation. She writes about living an adventure-packed, travel-soaked, friendship-filled life at Life of Something New. Say hi, konichiwa or hola on Twitter or Facebook.
“This year will be different.” We write down our hopes and dreams and then file them away till the dawn of the new year following. Here’s a plan that will take those embers of sparkling hopes and turn them into fires of accomplishments.
First step:
At the beginning of every journey it pays to see where you’ve come from. Write down all the improved things you’ve done this year. Odds are you’ve already started down the path you want.
Becoming financially savvy? I bet you thought more about your finances – write that down.
Becoming fit? I bet you reconsidered eating hamburgers every night for dinner.
Becoming a social butterfly? I reckon you smiled at more strangers last year.
Second step:
Build in failure to your plan. Nothing is going to succeed perfectly on the first try (you’re lucky if you get 80% on the first go.) Feeling like you’re struggling is part of completing a goal. Take a second to put everything you’ve done in perspective; you’re trying to change habits that have had years to form, of course it’ll feel hard. Persevere and remember, for every two steps forward you will take one back. Keep going forward.
Third step:
Break down the new year into the twelve months and then assign a task to each month. Give change a chance to settle into your habits.
For myself it’d look like:
//January//
Go bobsledding
Finish book proposal
Eat a salad for lunch five days a week
//February//
Three new clients for blogging development
Save $100 a week for a house deposit
Give away ten pieces of clothing
Make sure you don’t clump all your similar goals together – save for house, develop strict budget, no shopping, eating in each night – it sounds great, but by day four it turns into dust. Keep the changes small, give them time to set and then move onto the next.
If it feels hard, keep taking one small step forward. You will get there.
What changes would you like to grow this year?
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Mara Glatzel is a self-love coach and author of the body image + authentic living blog, Medicinal Marzipan. If you enjoyed this post, catch up with her (almost) daily body-loving antics and general rabble-rousing on facebook, twitter, or shoot her an email.
There are always moments, no matter where we are on the self-love continuum when we relapse a little, falling back into old habits like comparing ourselves to others in the room or in our field. It can be easy in those vulnerable moments to believe that we might not come out favorably in comparison with some of our heroes, and to use this as evidence to undermine our self-worth.
I always tell my clients that no matter how much progress they have made, when they are in moments of stress and doubt – they will retreat back to those well worn neurological pathways – the messages that they used to tell themselves on loop.
The messages that used to write their self-worth story.
For me, these well worn tracks include deep pathways of look what she’s doing and I’m never going to be as smart/pretty/successful/_____ as her - thought processes deeply imbued in comparison and self-doubt.
Thought processes where it is easy to come out feeling badly about myself.
You can be very accomplished at avoiding these reels of negative self-talk in your regular life, and it can be surprising when they resurface in moments of overwhelming stress. It can be easy in these moments to use the mere recurrence of this type of thinking as evidence of your lack of self-worth. As in, ugh, and I really thought that I was better than this – maybe I was kidding myself all along with this self-love stuff, maybe I really am [insert mean thought here].
Though it can be difficult to maintain a sense of equilibrium with all of these negative thoughts swirling around, here is a virtual ladder to pull you out of the well of self-doubt:
- Take a deep breath. Everything truly is going to be OK.
- Examine the evidence. Are you really [mean thought]? Are there times when you haven’t been [mean thought]? What evidence do you have to the contrary?
- Allow yourself a relapse into self-doubt and comparison. No one is perfect all the time. You are only human.
- When in doubt, remember that most people in the world are also totally wrapped up their own head and experience of the world. Likely? They don’t even notice what you’re doing.
- Print this out, put it in near reach, keep it with you during stressful moments: You are the only person like you in the world. You are the only one in the world who can write your blog, run your business, wear that dress, or ________ like you do. You are unique. Own it.
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Physical home: 1 Horatio Street, New York, NY 10014
Internet homes: Website // Facebook // Twitter
Want the experience of shopping in a small boutique – but in a big city? Darling is just that. Beautifully curated and staffed by kind, super informed, super helpful shopgirls, Darling is home to your next wear-it-every-day dress. Weddings, cocktail parties, high school reunions, drinks on the patio with your girlfriends, this lovely shop has a dress for every occasion.
And that really lovely staff? They’re headed by Ann French Emonts. Before opening Darling, Ann juggled designing for theater and dance, teaching and parenting. Now she combines her love of design, fashion history, and shopping at this darling of shop!
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Name: Nekiah
Age: 36
Location: Dallas, Texas
Online homes:
blog //
twitter
What are your every day, must-reads, online or off?
I try and read a chapter or two of the bible every day but sometimes it may just be a scripture. I also read my blog comments and emails.
Tell us about the ‘Real is Perfect’ campaign that you’re involved with!
I am a member of the
Skorch Magazine plus size blogger team.
Real Is Perfect is the Skorch Body Acceptance Campaign to empower women with images of real women that are perfect! We are bombarded with artificial images of perfection on a daily basis, but those aren’t real! Real is you and me and the girl next door, and THAT is perfect.
What is your go-to outfit when you’re feeling down?
I usually opt for boyfriend jeans, a tee, my Yankees hat and flats.
If you could give your 16 year old self advice, what would you say?
You is kind, you is smart, you is important!
Your perfect day. What would it look like?
Sleep in until around noon, get up just to get something to eat, crawl back in bed with a chick flick (Pride & Prejudice, Notebook) until I fall back asleep again!
Thanks for sharing, Nekiah!
